{"id":2811,"date":"2023-04-10T09:56:58","date_gmt":"2023-04-10T07:56:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/keromosemito.de\/?p=2811"},"modified":"2023-04-10T09:59:40","modified_gmt":"2023-04-10T07:59:40","slug":"newly-arrived-in-the-bosss-chair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/keromosemito.de\/en\/newly-arrived-in-the-bosss-chair\/","title":{"rendered":"Newly arrived in the boss’s chair"},"content":{"rendered":"

“What topic do you think I should tackle next?” my coachee Alex asked the other day at the beginning of our session. Alex has held a leadership position in a medium-sized company for four years.<\/strong> During this time, she has excellently mastered several professional challenges. She reorganized her team, successfully implemented concepts, and took on an extremely challenging role in a transformation project that was just completed.<\/strong><\/p>\n

My recommendation would be to first of all take a breath and enjoy the fact that business is running smoothly. But Alex was already looking for the next challenge. From one project to the next. This is not uncommon for my performance-oriented coachees. We get better at the things we practice. In our session, I suggested that Alex should first slow down and move from her mind to her feelings. That’s a better way to understand what’s going on.<\/p>\n

“I have to do a good job!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Alex closed her eyes and did some soul-searching. She sat very upright and arched her back. Her posture reminded me a little of a soldier standing to attention, ready to fight. And yet the chairs in my coaching room are actually well suited to adopt a relaxed position. In fact, when I furnished my office in 2015, I test sat on many chairs to find the perfect model that would allow my coachees to relax.<\/p>\n

“What do you feel?” I asked Alex.
\n“Tightness in my back and the urge to go full speed ahead,” explained Alex.
\n“What thoughts are going through your mind?” I asked.
\n“I have to do a good job!” she replied, quick as a shot.<\/p>\n

Hijacked by our own beliefs <\/strong><\/p>\n

I always prick up my ears when people start their sentences with “I have to.” Sentences that begin with “I have to” are often things that we learned in childhood or adolescence and that shape us throughout our lives.<\/p>\n

These sentences, called beliefs or drivers in transactional analysis<\/a>, are excellent motivators when it comes to delivering performance or overcoming lean periods. So it’s no wonder that I often come across them in my work with leaders. Classics examples are<\/p>\n