“So tell me, what are you looking for?” I ask my coachees when they start to fall into storytelling mode. Many of my coachees want to start a session by telling me what they have been through in the last few weeks and how enriching, frustrating, or annoying it has been for them.

I could then sit back comfortably in my chair, listen intently, and sip my latte. Some of my coachees are so good at talking that this could go on for two hours without them even noticing. A session like that would be easy money. However, in my opinion, that has very little to do with coaching.

30 years of management consulting and I’m still learning

Nevertheless, I appreciate it when my coachees talk about their professional challenges. I always learn a lot in the process:

  • How do you pull off a management buyout in a mechanical engineering company?
  • What is the best way to secure materials in the construction industry for the next 100 years?
  • How exactly does a municipal utility implement political decisions in terms of the energy transition?
  • What impact does this have on the financial sector?
  • How do you go from manufacturing glass bricks to a billion-dollar business?
  • Just how does a private radio station work?
  • Or what does it take to recruit lecturers for a private university?

Because I learn about these topics and much more from my customers, my job as a management consultant never gets boring, not even after 30 years. Yes, you read that right, I’ve been doing this for 30 years. I have been working as a coach for 25 years, including 10 years in my own premises in Cologne. Now that’s a reason to celebrate!

Learning, networking, and recharging batteries – my kind of anniversary

I celebrated my anniversary by hosting a workshop with a small group of selected customers. The workshop was titled: Learning, networking, and recharging batteries.

My guests were curious, enthusiastic, self-reflective people in leading positions from a wide range of industries, whom I knew would be able to work with me on exciting, in-depth questions and have a lot of fun doing so. Well, I could tell you so many things about this workshop. However, I always have one rule at my events: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!

I suppose I can reveal this much: among the questions my guests looked for answers to were:

  • What is success?
  • What should my next career move be?
  • How can I find the right balance or a healthier lifestyle?
  • What is my calling, and in what position can I realize it? And how long should I keep doing it?
  • How can I behave decently as a leader? And what exactly is decent behavior?
  • What is your philosophy of life?

Besides being a management consultant, I am a psychologist and a people nerd. Even after 30 years in my profession, I am still fascinated by what people (in organizations) think, feel, and do. I am obviously not alone in this. I was impressed by how intensely my guests explored these questions during the two-day workshop. But it wasn’t just talk. As long as you’re talking, you usually don’t learn anything new. On the contrary, if anything, talking tends to reinforce existing thought and behavioral patterns. You end up going round in circles.

A way to find answers to the really important questions

There are no universal answers to the questions posed above. They are personal and can only be answered individually. Sometimes the answers change over time. However, when answering these questions, it helps if…

  • … you take your time and create a space where you can explore these questions
  • … you ask intelligent, in-depth questions and develop clarity about what is actually going on
  • … other people contribute their expertise and share their own life experiences in relation to these questions
  • … we laugh and joke together and realize that we are connected in a magical way
  • … we are silent and write down our insights.

Now, I know from experience that it’s difficult to talk exclusively about yourself all day without losing your mind. Not even if you’re a qualified psychologist.

Competition and our ego take over – if we’re not careful

We also all have bodies that want to be moved. We keep reading it over and over again: Sitting down is the new smoking! That’s why I incorporated a few physical challenges into my anniversary workshop. It’s always exciting to see what the prospect of victory or defeat can bring out in people:

  • We fight and suffer together.
  • We push ourselves beyond our physical limits.
  • We motivate each other.
  • And it upsets us when we fail to secure victory in the end.

Even if there is nothing at stake except winning. Despite years of practice in meditation and mindfulness, our ego can still hijack us if we are not careful. And we can continue to practice letting go of exactly that.

Using our body to bring about change

To support me, I had invited my cherished colleague and yoga and breathing teacher Beata Korioth to the workshop. Her credo: If you want to change something in your life, you have to include your body. Beata consistently made people do handstands during morning yoga (some for the first time in their lives) and caused them to tremble. I would love to show you a few photos as evidence, but as you know: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!

And of course, there was plenty of time for celebration too. The anniversary workshop took place in the stunning Ahrenthal Castle. As in all Chateauform Group properties, delicious food is served there every two hours on average. The French cheese platter and wine selection are legendary. There are also a number of cozy lounges and corners where you can hang out during breaks or enjoy deep conversations.

In the evening, we had the opportunity to wear our finest outfits. The ladies did so with great enthusiasm and stunning results. However, it is hard to say whether the 34 degrees Celsius that prevailed on both days made the men sweat more than the dress code specified in the invitation. It definitely triggered nervousness and even panic in some of the gentlemen:

  • Do I have to wear a suit?
  • Does a polo shirt work?
  • What about shorts?
  • Were any of the guys brave enough to show up in shorts and flip-flops alongside the ladies in evening gowns? Maybe.
  • Who might that have been?

Well, you should know by now: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!

What is your life anthem?

Why dress up? For one thing, because we can. For another, as a special highlight on the second evening, we belted out our life anthems in the chapel of Ahrenthal Castle. The whole thing was accompanied on the piano by the incredible Holger Queck, who struck the perfect balance between motivation and empathy on the subject of “I can’t sing.” The playlist was wild: From “Jingle Bells” to “We are the Champions!”, it was all there. Whose life anthem is “Jingle Bells”? And who reached for extra champagne, wine, or rum to lubricate their voices? And how successful was this endeavor? You know the drill: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!

What was I looking for with the workshop?

  • To provide a platform for networking among like-minded individuals,
  • to offer them the opportunity to find answers to questions that are currently on their minds, and
  • to recharge them with positive energy.

Did I succeed? I cannot answer that question for my guests. I can only speak for myself. I had a lot of fun and, as always, learned a great deal from my customers.

I would like to share two lessons learned:

  1. There are people with PhDs who are working on a formula for decent behavior for leaders. It is quite possible that the results will be published one day.
  2. There is more going on in Hattingen than you might think. Unfortunately, I can’t give you any details, you know why.

But perhaps you could stop by the Hall of Cross Sports in Hattingen. You might find the answers you’re looking for there. If not, you can find me in Cologne at Ubierring 43, where I’ve been based for the last 10 years. We can get together there to look for answers and have a coffee or tea. And rest assured: the Vegas rule applies there too!